In the wedding industry, almost everything — from planning checklists, to vendor questionnaire forms, to contract wording, to mainstream magazine articles — is done from the assumption that there will be a bride and a groom.
Alternately, for queer weddings, there may be two brides or two grooms.
But what if someone is neither bride nor groom? Even queer wedding outlets sometimes forget the genderqueer, agender, and nonbinary members of our queer family.
Genderqueer, agender, and nonbinary are different terms which share the foundation that the “gender binary” of only two genders, boy and girl, is inaccurate or incomplete. These individuals don’t fall into the two old-school categories of male or female — and, by extension, are neither groom nor bride.
The term for nonbinary members of to-be-wed couples is “enby,” adapted from the abbreviation N.B. for non-binary. As people who don’t identify with traditional male or female roles, enbies often (though not always) prefer to dress in an androgynous or gender-neutral way, or mix masculine and feminine elements in their look.
This easily carries over into wedding style with plenty of fun, simple, or elegant combinations to match your personal taste and wedding vision. Let’s take a look!
As Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother (an outdated show, but still one of my favorites) taught, nothing suits the entire human race like a suit. It also happens to be one of the more versatile choices in wedding fashion. Besides being tailored to any body type, shape, or size, you can wear a suit…
…with a tie…
Or a bow tie!
Suspenders are always fun.
With or without a jacket, in fun colors…
…or neutral tones…
…possibly with a veil.
suit jacket with skirt or dress
If you want to step a bit further away from the realm of tradition, sliding a suit jacket — or vest — over a dress or dress shirt with skirt plays with gender norms in both a slightly softer and less expected way.
(Unrelated, why do professional runway models always look like their cat just died?)
feminine top with slacks
In the reverse of the “suit and skirt” combination, a feminine, bridal-style top could easily be paired with formal suit-style slacks. Finding slacks is the easy part. For some beautiful, queer-friendly bridal separates, including many tops that would work perfectly for this combination, check out House of Ollichon.
Jumpsuits have been growing in popularity for a few years now, both in weddings and the larger fashion world.
And of course, anyone can choose to slay the aisle in a traditional (or more colorful) wedding dress.
If a classic dress is the route you decide to take, make sure to visit The Cotton Bride.
I personally love almost all of their designs, but it’s also worth noting they made waves in the wedding industry with their gender-neutral look book photo shoot in 2016.
That’s all I have time for today. For more genderqueer wedding wear, check out this piece at HelloGiggles, this Q&A on DapperQ, or The Cotton Bride’s androgynous look book at Offbeat Bride.